I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
40s are totally the cure
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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