you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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