No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
