I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize