I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
