How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
