so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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