I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
