seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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