I puked a lego.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
