I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
