But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
