Taylor Swift is so right about you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry about my life...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
