The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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