I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
