so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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