all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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