ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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