he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
