Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
