I heard we made out
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
