she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
