There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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