I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize