White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
