Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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