Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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