i permit you to call me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
