you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Randomize
