Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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