The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
