real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
