I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
