I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
