its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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