you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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