were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
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Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her