Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem