Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is