I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize