Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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