The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
