Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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