No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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