whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
