dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask