JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.