sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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