So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
