At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
