I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
