i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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