i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
