Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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