dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
