hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
