Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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