Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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