Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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