i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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