Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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