I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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