i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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