what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
