I bet he comes in French.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
