My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
