My nipple is on Facebook.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm too high and old for this...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
